Some Funny Moments
by TheGirlOnFire464
Summary: Join the Avengers and company as they do ridiculous things, illegal things, text crazy things and enjoy their abnormal yet interesting lives. Spoilers for Avengers, Thor 1,2,Captain America 1,2, The Incredible Hulk, Iron Man 1,2,3...basically all the movies.
1. Chapter 1

**I've read plenty of these funny text fanfics and I thought, why not write one of my own? **

**I obviously do not own The Avengers and/or Loki, Phil Coulson, Maria Hill, Nick Fury or any other characters that might feature in this story. I am NOT doing the disclaimer again.**

* * *

><p>It all started when Thor was feeling quite bored. He remembered that Tony Stark had given him a 'Stark phone' which could be used to text or call the others in what Tony called a 'conference chat'. Who were 'others', you ask? Just all the Avengers and Loki. Any Avenger could add persons of their choice to the chat either permanently or temporarily. Well, Loki could too, but as he had no friends or even good acquaintances except those already in the chat...him adding someone was not anticipated.<p>

Thor: HELLO EVERYONE! THIS IS THOR, GOD OF THUNDER.

Tony: Yeah. Figured from the fact that you are in my contacts.

Thor: I thought it would be best to tell you who I was in the event that you did not have a way of telling, Man of Iron. What is this 'contacts' you speak of?

Tony: It's basically a bunch of numbers with the names of their owners. Where are the others?

Thor: I do not know about the Captain, or Agent Romanoff. Agent Barton is in the training room you have installed for him and my brother is still on Asgard.

Tony: Do you never call Loki by his name?

Thor: Names have power, my friend. In fact...

Loki: Somebody call my name?

Thor: What is it you Midgardians say?...Ah, yes. 'Talk of the devil and he appears.'

Tony: It's speak, not talk and evidently, you were wrong about Loki being on Asgard.

Tony: Unless these phones have amazing reception.

Tony: I could make a fortune then. I can see the ad for it. 'Stark phones: Call from any of the Nine Realms'

Loki: Actually...I'm two floors below you, Stark. Lots of fresh coffee you seem to have. I'm on my third cup.

Tony: Way to burst my bubble of happiness, Loks. Wait...did you say you're drinking my coffee?

Loki: I may be mistaken, but did you just call me 'Loks'?

Tony: Sure did, Loks.

Thor: My brother doesn't quite like...nicknames as you call them.

Loki: STARK! STOP CALLING ME BY THAT INFERNAL NAME! OR ELSE I WILL BREAK APART EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOUR INVENTIONS WITH MY SCEPTRE.

Tony: WHAT! Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. Not my robots! Have mercy, Loks.

Loki: STOP IT! NOW!

Thor: Man of Iron, I do not think it wise for you to incur my brother's wrath. He can be quite vengeful.

Tony: Who, Loki? What did he do? Tell on you to daddy because you yelled at him?

Thor: Worse! He replaced my expensive Schwarzkopf: Smooth and Shine shampoo with scented, coloured and thickened water. My hair was frizzy for weeks! You see how diabolical he can be.

Tony: Oh, yes. The terror of frizzy hair! How I'm shaking in my shoes at the very thought! I'm terrified of Loki now!

Thor: I'm glad you understand my fright of getting on Loki's bad side.

Tony: Of course I understand, Thor. How horrible it must be to be separated from Schwarzkopf!

Thor: He is probably planning to take yours away from you.

Tony: He can't. I use Garnier Men.

Thor: Is it any good?

Tony: I...guess. It cleans my hair.

Thor: Do you think I should use it?

Tony: You should use Garnier Women. It would be better for your long, glossy, wavy hair.

Thor: Thank you!

Tony: It wasn't a compliment.

Bruce: Umm...What are you guys talking about?!

Thor: The revenge my brother once exalted upon me.

Tony: BRUCIE! So good to see you. I missed you Brucie!

Bruce: Tony, never, ever, ever call me Brucie.

Bruce: Like, ever.

Tony: Why? Is it because only your girlfriend can call you that?

Thor: You have a girlfriend, ?

Bruce: I seem to frighten most girls away. So no. I do not have a girlfriend.

Thor: I will introduce you to Jane's friends, Doctor. Do not fret.

Tony: You're lying, Brucie. You do have a girlfriend!

Bruce: No I don't.

Thor: You will have one soon enough, Doctor. A Ms. Regina Campbell was quite impressed with you and your feats.

Tony: Bwoocie's got a girlfwiend! Bwoocie's got a girlfwiend!

Bruce: Fine! Yes, I have a girlfriend.

Tony: WOW! Really?

Bruce: Haha NO!

Tony:*sniffles at Brucie's rude behavior* :(

Thor: What is that symbol, Tony?

Tony: While texting other people, you can use these symbols to show winking[;)],smiling[:)] or sadness[:(], geddit?

Thor: Yes I do! Your quite ingenious.

Tony: ^You're

Thor: I do not understand you're strange symbol, Tony.

Tony: ^Your

Thor: You must explain you're text to me, my friend

Tony ^Your

Thor: I told you I do not understand you're text, Tony.

Tony: USE THE GODDAMN INTERNET TO FIND THE GODDAMN DIFFERENCE BETWEEN YOUR AND YOU'RE YOU STUPID, DUMB USELESS EXCUSE OF A MORON!

Thor: You're words are quite hurtful.

Tony:UUUGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Bruce: LOL, if Tony had my powers, he would have hulked out right now.

Thor: Did I do something wrong?

Tony: You MURDERER!

Thor: What?

Tony: You SLIMEBALL!

Thor: I'm sorry, what?

Tony: People like you are the reason why the English language is suicidal.

Bruce: LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

Thor: Sorry, I was worrying about you, Tony. And I was preoccupied.

Bruce: Something's about to blow up. TTYL!

Thor: What does TTYL mean?

Bruce: Talk To You Later

Thor: Okay. Tell me later.

Bruce:*facepalms and leaves*

Tony: You're worrying about me? Why?

Thor: You might want to tread cautiously around Loki, Tony. He is quite the trickster.

Tony: Yeah, I'll alert JARVIS.

Tony: Wait...LOKI!

Loki:What, Stark?

Tony: Why has JARVIS locked me in my room?

Loki: I have no idea whatsoever. *pouts innocently*

Tony: OH CRAP! JARVIS IS PLAYING BABY NOW!

Tony: AT FULL VOLUME!

Tony: SAVE MEEEEEEEEEE!

Tony: SOS! SOS!

Tony: THOR? LOKI? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Loki: Call me 'Loks', will you,Stark? Now you can pay for it. Muhahahahahaha.

* * *

><p><strong>Hope you like this. To be continued soon...<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I would say I'm so sorry about the long wait...but you should know me better. So, next chapter here.**

* * *

><p>Tony: Hello, guys. How ya doin'?<p>

Clint: Sleeeeeeeep. Foooooooood.

Steve: Fine, thank you. How about you?

Tony: Chillax, Steeeeevie. You text like my grandmother.

Steve: I am sorry, but I was not aware of the fact that your grandmother knew to text. My most humble apologies.

Tony:*rolls his eyes*

Clint: Tony's got a point. Does your punctuation and sentence formation have to be so...so...so...

Tony: Impeccable?

Clint: Gold star! Hey, where's Nat?

Steve: She is in her room.

Clint: I meant, what is she doing that's more important than chatting with us.

Tony: Yeah! Like, everyone who knows everyone is here!

Bruce: Ummm... why are you acting like a popular teenage kid, Tony?

Tony: Hey, Bwoocie!

Bruce: I thought I told you not to call me that?

Tony: Do you hulk out if someone pokes you on facebook?

Bruce: Hahahaha. Real funny.

Tony: IKR! I thought you needed a laugh.

Natasha: He was being sarcastic, pea-brain.

Clint: Tasha! Why did you leave me and go? Was I being a bad boy? *wink wink*

Tony: Oh GOD! TMI TMI TMI!

Bruce: #mentallyscarredforlife

Steve: What does that mean?

Tony: It's... Ask Bruce. He _is_ after all the science expert.

Bruce: No way! Are you nuts?

Tony: Oh!My!God! Brucie, I knew your degree was fake.

Clint: To think we put our lives on the words of a guy who faked his degree!

Tony: I am a tea pot, short and stout.

Clint: Ummm...Tony?

Tony: Here is my handle, here is my spout!

Natasha: Hah! He's finally gone cuckoo!

Tony: Tip me over and pour me out!

Steve: Tony?

Tony: Piggy on the railway, picking up stones

Bruce: He has lost his last few marbles.

Natasha: W.T.F?

Tony: Down came the engine driver, broke Piggy's bones!

Natasha: Cuckoo! Cuckoo!

Tony: Ah! said Piggy, that's not fair.

Bruce: Oh lord! Is he drunk or something?

Tony: Oh! Said the engine driver, I don't care.

Clint: Yup! He's off his bloody rocker, mate.

Natasha: The hell was that?

Clint: Just Stark reciting nursery rhymes through text, love. We've got children in Ol' England who do better than that.

Natasha: Not Stark, you.

Clint: I want to be more British. I hear girls go crazy for that kind of thing.

Bruce: That is so stereotypical, Clint. British people don't always say 'mate' or 'love' or 'bloody'. And never say 'Ol' England', okay?

Clint: Fine. *sulks*

Natasha: He's right, Clint. Imagine how offended any British person would be if they came across this. It sounds like you're making fun of them.

Clint: Why would anyone come across this? It's on my phone.

Bruce:...Guys?

Clint: Yeah?

Bruce: What do you think Steve and Tony are doing?

Natasha: Why do you ask?

Bruce: Because of the sounds coming from the lab.

Clint:...Like they're blowing something up or...

Natasha: Aren't you dirty minded!

Tony: Mamma mia!

Natasha: There you are! I was beginning to miss you.

Tony: Here I go again.

Bruce: Here we go again.

Clint: Why exactly did you miss him?

Natasha: I was being sarcastic, dunce.

Tony: My,my

Bruce: STOOOOOOOOOOP

Tony:How can I resist you?

Bruce: ODCJFBQHJ4FR

Clint: Oh my god! Oh my fricking god! He hulked out, didn't he?

Natasha: Shit! I think so!

Clint: Oh god! We're all going to die. What if I go to hell for my sins?

Natasha: Calm the hell down and call Furry.

Clint: Who?

Natasha: Moronic fool! I meant Furry.

Natasha: ^Fury. Damn autocorrect.

Bruce: IJBRVWADFBIEBF8J4RBFI9ER

Clint: We're in deeeeeeeeep shit.

Natasha: No shit, Sherlock.

Bruce: HJCYUHD*IYHIF*YB*IYBGED

Clint: HOLY MOTHER OF COWS SAVE US FROM FURY'S WRATH!

Clint: Wouldn't Fury be the opposite of furry?

Clint: You know, 'coz he has no hair?

Natasha: DID YOU CALL HIM OR NOT?

Nick Fury: WHAT IS THIS I HEAR ABOUT STARK UNLEASHING THE HULK?

Nick Fury: WHAT IN GOD'S NAME WERE YOU DUNDERHEADS DOING THAT PISSED OFF DOCTOR BANNER?

Nick Fury: YOU KNOW WHAT? I AM ALL OUT OF SHITS TO GIVE ABOUT THIS WHOLE ISSUE. YOU CAN FIND A WAY TO CALM BANNER OR DIE TRYING.

Nick Fury: I'M ALSO GETTING AGENTS COULSON AND HILL OFF THE GRID SO THAT THEY CAN'T HELP YOU.

Natasha: WOW! Thanks Stark. You've doomed us!

Clint: Ummm...Nat?

Natasha: When this is resolved, I am going to make you wish you had never been born Stark.

Cint: Tasha, you migh want to clam down just a bit...

Natasha: I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN, TORTURE YOU TO DEATH BY STRANGLING YOU UNTILL YOU ALMOST DIE AND THEN I'LL SLOWLY CHOP OF YOUR LIMBS, SLOW ROAST THEM OVER THE FIREPLACE IN YOUR OWN HOME, THEN SLICE AND DEEP FRY THEM, FEED THEM TO YOU, SUFFOCATE YOU BY CHOKING YOU WITH A HAIR SCRUNCHIE, THEN FREEZING YOU UNTILL YOU GET HYPOTHERMIA AND THEN I'LL WARM YOU UP IN A POT OF BOILING WATER AND THEN ELECTROCCUTE YOU WITH ONE OF YOUR OWN INVENTIONS AND THEN I'LL FORCE FEED YOU A SLOW ACTING, PAINFUL POISON AND WHILE YOU'RE DYING, I'LL REPEATEDLY KICK, PUNCH AND STAB YOU. THEN I'LL RIP UP WHAT IS LEFT OF YOUR BODY AND FEED YOU TO THE WOLVES!

Clint: Yup! Anger Management lessons it is!

Natasha: And You!

Clint: MERCY!

Bruce: OMG! They actually thought I hulked out for a bunch of stupid songs!

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Hello! I'm feeing rather vindictive today. That's why the elaborate killing plan. Hope you enjoyed.**


End file.
